I am a student at Tawa Intermediate School in Wellington, New Zealand. I am in Room 15 and a member of the amazing Huia Syndicate. My teacher is Stephanie Thompson.

Thursday, 14 March 2013

were you to late?

 If feeling lonely is worse then being lonely as you would scream in your mind but not out loud so no one could hear you. As a firework inside you started to light up and sparkle but one small action put it out.
 As the wind was as wild as a lion and blew you from side to side. You were a bird flying so high no feathers dropped down. As you were buried so deep your heart beat was as slow as a snail. But you ran as fast as a wagon.
If you were a door opening to a new life but you began small like a insect but your soul was as big as a cloud. But as you grew like a tree you felt to tall but you came back as if it were a dream.
By Grace

1 comment:

  1. Hi Grace
    I really love how you have similes to develop your story. Would your story have benefited from having spaces to make your sentences stand out more to the reader?

    Stephanie

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting on my Blog. I appreciate comments that can help me improve my learning.